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Saturday, July 9, 2011

He Yells Because He Loves Them

Dispelling Myth #3: You only have 18 years to train up your child.

Truth: They still need you – even after they go to College.

Hauling their stuff back & forth
Finding books on Amazon.com
Money
Health Insurance
Dental Cleanings
Car Issues, their friends’ car issues
Finding football tickets at their fine SEC schools
Taking them and their friends to dinner.
Keeping them on track

Apparently, King never received the parental guidance he deserved; learned everything the hard way. He admits to over-compensating with our children because he wants them to
avoid pain.

Sometimes they avoid King, like this summer.

Preacher Child is in summer school, preparing for real life (taxation, marriage, graduation...).
Scholar child resides in another state.
Flower Child works at as many drama camps as she can pack into her schedule (Paid & unpaid!).

Party Child wishes he’d stayed at the fine SEC institution in Alabama for summer school like he did last year.

It was lecture time in the house.

King decided: Party Child wasn’t properly learning work ethic with his summer job.
“This is the worst recession of recent history - unemployment is 9.2% - the market is down -
no end in site!”
“DO YOU HAVE ANY idea how lucky you are to have a job?!?!”
“You’re working on RACE cars, not mini-vans!”
“I worked on beat up old cars in Miami – before shops had air conditioning!
This is Georgia, how bad can it be?”

(Current weather conditions: North Georgia: 101 degrees; Miami: 98 degrees - I’m just saying.)

Party Child was not happy, but he’s smart and should look forward to a brilliant career in sales. He listened, drank King’s (good) beer, bid his time, let King vent to his big ole heart’s content.

Then he won King over:
“DAD! I don’t (gripe) like this when I’m at work; I do whatever they tell me to do.
Can’t I just be myself at home and tell you what I really think about my day?”

He learned this communication technique from me. Wish I could take full credit for it - but I learned it from Preacher Child.

Funny thing… so far … 2 of 4 children report: King is the one they really miss when they leave home.

Maybe I should start yelling.

17 comments:

  1. Apparently Driscoll believes the same philosophy :)


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_MLUuNKjZU

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  2. I always find they "miss" dad more becuase mom's are just expected, like the air, which is kind of nice, but, can sometimes be a bit trying. I love how your one son handled your husband, it is so nice when they learn communication!!! Great to catch up with you this week via VoiceBoks!! I am now a follower, I think last week I was having a problem with my GFC! Now, I will be kept up to date with your great site!! Have a great weekend!!

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  3. Love this story. Stopping by from VB. Enjoy your day!

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  4. Preacher - new rule, no more Driscoll on my turf. xoxo mom
    You know I learned it all from Brother John Rosemond and your Moo-mommy :)

    Thanks Kathy & Kim - you are terrific and I appreciate you following!! Kathy - totally agree with you. We know in our hearts ~

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  5. We only have 1 adult child and he calls here all the time asking me, "How do I ask the doctor this" or "where do I find out about that?" It's ridiculous how much they still need mom to hold their hands. Kinda cute too :)
    Sharon from VB
    http://sharon-moms-madhouse.com/

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  6. Hello, I am a new follower from Voiceboks. I would love it if you would visit my blog and follow me back at Valerie @ My-2-Cents

    Thank you
    Have a blessed week

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  7. Sharon - I about fell out of my chair - "promised myself I wouldn't go into his room until he had a different address" -good one! Magic seems to overcome them at agge 21 or so.
    Valerie- started follwing 45 minutes ago & love your 2 cents :)

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  8. You have a great blog! I am visiting from voiceBoks! I am your newest follower and would love it if you would follow me back! thanks so much!
    -Nikki
    http://chef-n-training.blogspot.com/

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  9. Thanks so much for stopping by!
    The first few lines of your post had me thinking I've got a loooong way to go yet in this parenting adventure.
    Thanks for thinking I'm so brave - God had other plans for us apparently...best thing that ever happened to us.

    xo
    babymama

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  10. This is a very engaging post! Thanks for sharing! Glad to have met you via Voiceboks!

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  11. Absolutely LOVE this post. One of those priceless moments when you get confirmation that your kids actually internalized that standing-up-being-true-to-themselves stuff we keep trying to teach!

    From voiceBoks:-)

    ~RJ, the Hope Coach
    http://jrrsehopecoaching.com

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  12. I'm 32 years old and still "need" my parents:)
    Thanks for sharing - love that your husband is called "King" (one of my classmates at high school had a little brother who was a toddler at the time... she trained him to call her "Princess":)
    Visiting from vB,
    Kristina

    www.icing-and-crumbs.blogspot.com

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  13. I appreciate you all - thanks so much for following and encouraging. Yay for VB!
    RJ - there are moments when you see the fruits of your labor; isn't it a beautiful thing?
    Kristina, Agree! we need our parents forever. Lost mom last year & miss her terribly - so grateful for my dad.

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  14. Stopping by from VB! Great story!

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  15. Great story! Thanks for commenting on Momfever!

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