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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Hot Air Balloon Mom Quiz

You might be a Hot Air Balloon Mom if you’ve:

  1. Stalked your child’s Facebook page.
  2. Driven to the (party, Waffle House, Movie Theatre, etc.) to confirm child was there
  3. Considered opening child's correspondence, by steam – held to light for preview.
  4. Quietly listened outside child's room (more than 10 seconds) wondering what they’re laughing about. (skype, phone, tv...)
  5. Peeked through blinds as they return, or leave.
  6. Collected 5+ friends’ cell numbers. (Tip: Save when child calls from friends’ phones)
  7. Celebrated with happy dance - first time they drove themselves to practice.
  8. Set up a joint debit card so you know where they’ve been.
  9. Watched child (more than 47 seconds) while they sleep – past the 17th birthday.
  10. Wished you could send child a “Screamer” letter (ala: Mrs. Weasley, of Harry Potter)
If you answered “Yes” to 5 or more of the above, You are a Hot Air Balloon Mom.
(I'm 9 for 10)

You might need a little coaching if you’ve:
  1. Posted your angst on their Facebook page.
  2. Publicly appearanced inside the venue of question
  3. Opened letter; glued back together.
  4. Knocked on door, asked with whom they’re having fun
  5. Banged on window, waiving as they come/go
  6. Called/texted more than 4 contacts if you haven’t heard from child recently.
  7. Demonstrated happy dance for child.
  8. Inquired why they spent $11.92 at Subway or Starbucks
  9. Attempted to coerce information while they’re asleep
  10. Googled “Screamer” and would have ordered – if it could be YOU screaming.
If you scored 7 or higher, Google: Helicopter Mom blog. I am just short of guilty at 6 for 10.

The Scale… If you’ve only offended once, adjust score.
There, now I’m 4 for 10.
Timing is everything.