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Saturday, June 11, 2011

I’m Married to … a Race Car?!

Key trait of a Hot Air Balloon Mom: have a life outside your offspring. (Contrast to helicopter mom, requiring years of therapy once the kids move out)

Not sure who was racing that day – Party Child or King. According to King’s Facebook profile picture, I am married to a race car. (In the lead; blue). A used car dealer once said: “It’s cold metal – can’t keep you warm at night.” King, Party & Preacher Child debate me on this.
Trust me – the race car is His. (Relationships need balance: His, Hers, Ours.)
Ronda Rich warns in My Life In the Pits, her days with NASCAR: Lord, help the woman who falls in love with a race car driver; she will always be second to that car.
I read it too late, years after King came a courtin’. The signs were there:
1)      King drove a truck (I thought it meant he'd fix things. Didn’t realize this meant serious home emergencies and cars, not installing wood floors, new light fixtures...)
2)      Bondo truck was in his garage; hauled from his parent’s yard in South Florida - clear up to Georgia. King showed it off: “It’s to teach the boys about cars, you know quality time!” (He had me at ‘quality time’; my oversight)
3)      Movie and video game titles at their house included words: Grand Auto, Thunder, Fast, Furious …
4)      Massive TV always tuned to The SPEED Channel.
5)      Endless stories about cars he’d owned, street racing days, working his way through college repairing cars.
This sheltered, sorority girl was stricken blind as a bat, and all for love.
My few girlfriends who know about the race car are mystified: Why would a grown man want one?  
King made his case: “Not getting any younger – I have 2 or 3 years to get this out of my system. Are you good with it?”
I am a great wife: “You should be happy – 1 request: do not keep it at our house. The neighbors already hate us with our loud Mustangs, truck and sedans (plus whatever the kids’ friends park on the street) … Warehouse it. OR Get a lift for the garage and let’s buy some nice carriage garage doors.”
The warehouse lasted 6 months; we’re ordering carriage garage doors as soon as the HOA approves. I should have trusted Ronda Rich over that used car dealer.

1 comment:

  1. Hello, NASCAR wife. I love you even more for this flaw of your husband's. xox